We don't have any of the other mods you listed installed so this is all I can give input on.
Cleaning the entire map of building rubble seems to help him with the lag. We're not able to play the game on x3 at all anymore since we're 6 years into our game now. Also, whenever we get caravan traders on the map, we have to play the game on normal speed until they leave since playing the game on x2 sometimes desyncs him. My bf and I play on our own colonies so that may be why. The events such as harvesting, faction unrest basically peace talks from the modmystic shaman, and comms console events desyncs everytime.
My bf and I use More Faction Interaction with mp and a lot of the events even though it's stated under the mp mod compatibility spreadsheet otherwise desyncs quite a bit for us. Also, more faction interaction is incompatible to multiplayer with most of its events. Mods cause desync, especially heavy ones. Home Discussions Workshop Market Broadcasts.
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